Key takeaways
- The author had five lumbar punctures in five months while doctors searched for a physical cause of her symptoms.
- Blood work, CT scans and spinal taps all came back normal. The cause turned out to be anxiety and PTSD.
- A psychologist at Chainama Hills Hospital diagnosed post-traumatic stress disorder, a condition she had no idea she was living with.
- Despite the fears many people hold about the procedure, she came through five of them with back pain and headaches, and is alive and well.
- She now campaigns to change how people understand anxiety, panic attacks and depression.
The spinal tap of doom
Let’s talk about lumbar punctures, or as some of us call them, “the spinal tap of doom.”
There’s a serious misconception out there that people die from them. So naturally, when doctors suggested one for me, I thought, “This is it. Lord, take the wheel.”
Five lumbar punctures in five months
When I first started experiencing anxiety, panic attacks, and dissociation, I didn’t know what was going on. I just knew I felt weird. And because I didn’t understand mental health (like many people, I thought mental illness only meant what we saw in the streets), I kept going back to the hospital describing my physical and psychological symptoms.
Long story short: I ended up doing five lumbar punctures in just five months.
Yep. Five. For what turned out to be… anxiety and PTSD.
After every test (blood work, CT scans, spinal taps) results came back “normal.” But nothing felt normal. So naturally, I thought: “This must be spiritual.”
Finding the words for what I was living with
Eventually, I took matters into my own hands and started researching. That’s when I came across the words: anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, derealization. Finally, it all made sense.
I went to Chainama Hills Hospital, saw a psychologist, and was diagnosed with PTSD, something I had no idea I was living with.
Changing the narrative
Mental health is deeply misunderstood and often overlooked. There’s a lot of ignorance, and I was once part of that statistic. But now I’m passionate about changing the narrative. These symptoms are real and they can be debilitating. But if you’re going through it, whether anxiety, panic attacks or depression, you are not alone.
Shout-out to Malango Goma Yombwe, who lifted me up when I hit rock bottom after that fifth lumbar puncture. Yes, I had back pain and headaches afterward, but spoiler alert: I’m still alive.
To God be the glory.
Let’s keep talking about mental health. Someone out there needs to hear your story.
Nenne Sharon Mwale
Mental health activist
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